Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Agree to Disagree?

I've often said that my relationship with my husband is based on the "opposites attract" concept. He and I have very little in common, and we disagree on most political and social issues. My stance on this is that it makes things more interesting. We always have something to talk about. . . and talking is exactly what we did at dinner last night.

You see, I believe that as "mere mortals," we humans have no claim to the land we live on l(beyond, perhaps, the house we live in) and therefore no right to say who can and cannot live in our country. The idea of "illegal immigration" is absurd to me. If you are an honest, law-abiding person, you should be able to make a living wherever you have the means to. I disagree with the immigration laws that make it so difficult to legally immigrate to the US.

Husband, on the other hand, believes that immigration laws protect us from terrorism, and other kinds of ill-will. In fact, he had recently been offered a job in which he would be involved in enforcing those laws.

Well, last night, after a long discussion (read: argument) about our feelings on this issue, Husband confessed that he is anxious to accept this job for fear that it may negatively affect our relationship.

In the past, we've always been able to (if you'll excuse the cliche) agree to disagree. But I can't say with any confidence that I won't resent my Husband for any involvement in enforcing these laws that I believe are wrong. But I've always appreciated our ability to maintain our respective independence. I don't want Husband to decline this offer only because of my feelings. That would certainly lead to resentment on his part.

So, I guess my question is this: Does Love trump Politics?


S-Boy said...

I can understand the idea of protection behind the immigration thing, but I really don't see how the rules that govern immigration really protect us. They seem kind of arbitrary. I don't think that having immigrants know US history safeguards us against terrorists. They can easily learn the same things, you know?

Anyway, good luck with the issue. These kind of things can be difficult to deal with.

KCShipe said...

Is your political view so important to you that your husband should avoid doing anything you would disagree with? You said in one of your posts that even though you are a firm liberal, you are understanding of other people holding different viewpoints. Does that include your husband?
I am not trying to preach at you, but what would you do if the roles were reversed? (You taking a job advocating something he doesn't agree with)

Molly said...

Thanks for the thought-provoking questions. This is something that is going to require a lot of thought and discussion.

I have had jobs that he has disagreed with before, but they were always just short-term things and never a "career path." He would just sort of roll his eyes and make-fun of me in an affectionate way.

Carol said...

Both of your viewpoints on various issues will evolve over time. Rarely do couples evolve in sinc. Just keep talking.