Thursday, June 18, 2009

I read a great essay today in Slate Magazine's blog, The Happiness Project. The author chooses five habits of hers that have become obstacles to her happiness in her marriage. As I was reading about the 5 items she listed, I realized that I could have been writing them.

I particularly identified with the following passage:

First, I remind myself of the phenomenon of unconscious overclaiming; i.e., we
unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other
people’s. This makes sense, because of course we’re far more aware of what
we do than what other people do. According to Jonathan Haidt’s The Happiness Hypothesis, “When husbands and wives estimate the percentage
of housework each does, their estimates total more than 120 percent.”

Does this remind you of a blog post I made a few months ago?

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Spontaneous Adventure

If you knew my husband, "spontaneous" might be the last word you would use to describe him. "Methodical," or "practical" would be more appropriate. So, imagine my surprise when I woke up on Saturday morning and found him dressed in street clothes instead of his uniform.

"Don't you have to work today? What's going on?"

"I'm driving down to Norfolk," he said simply.

"What? What for?"

"E. told me about a Magic tournament they're having today."

E. is a friend of ours from college who lives down in Norfolk. He and Husband used to while away hours playing the trading card game "Magic," and talking about tactics, deck-building, rare cards, etc.

"When did you decide this?" I asked.

"Oh, about 11:00 last night."

"Uh-huh. . . do you want company for the drive?"

He hesitated. The last time I agreed to tag-along for one of these tournaments, I couldn't contain my boredom. But this one will be near the beach, so if I get bored, I could just head out on my own adventure.

Within about 30 minutes we were heading south at a steady 65mph. It turned out to be a really fun day. E. showed us around his territory, and we had an awesome seafood dinner. And Husband, who hardly ever does this sort of thing was having a blast. When we got home that night around midnight, we were both in good spirits having spent a really fun day together.

Monday, June 1, 2009

From the Mouths of Babes. . .

As a newlywed, it is so easy to get caught up in trying to meet others' expectations of marriage. I often worry about what other couples think when they see me flying solo so frequently. I'm constantly having to answer the question: "Where's your husband?"

But today, a friend of mine shared this clip from a favorite childhood TV institution

I watched it and thought, you know if those are the standards that my marriage is being held up against, then Husband and I are marriage experts!