Wednesday, November 26, 2008

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

Since I havn't had time to come up with new posts lately, I figure I'll let someone else do the work for me. I found this great article about what to expect in marriage on while I was trying to figure out why I've been sleeping 10 hours a night and am still tired in the morning. (More on that later.)

It's a very good article, although, I bet any woman who has been married for a substantial length of time could have told me the same things. Maybe I should consult my grandmother about it.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I apologize for the lack of posts this week. I have a bunch in mind, but I havn't got around to taking or uploading photos for them. Here's a teaser of what's in the works:

The finished Christmas stockings.

Decorating for the holidays.

Arguing with Husband about how I spend my money.

Recipes from my contribution to Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Home for the Holidays

The question is, whose home?

Although Husband and I have only been married a couple months, we have been living together for two years, and dating for over six. So, the "where will we spend the holidays?" question is one we've gotten used to struggling over.

Last Thanksgiving, we decided to do a double-header. Our parents live about an hour's drive apart from each other, so we planned on having a Thanksgiving lunch with his family and then Thanksgiving dinner with mine. Sound exhausting? It was.

This year, deciding that we were not up for a repeat of last year's hectic rush, we went back and forth quite a bit before finally making the decision to have Thanksgiving with my family. I happily announced to my mother that she "won," only to be told that she wasn't expecting us and had made plans to go out of town! I was completely disappointed. Fortunately, after some discussion, she and my step-father decided that if we would spend Thanksgiving with them, they would stay home.

Christmas, is still up in the air. Because of Husband's job, he may need to work on Christmas. His family traditionally exchanges gifts on Christmas Eve, so there would be no loss there; but I will then be left to spend my first Christmas day as a wife alone with my own family.

I'm sure that will be fine, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't feel just a little bit lonely if that is the case.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Date for the Opera

A few posts ago, I gushed about how Husband bought me tickets to see Denyce Graves in Carmen (Photo taken from the Washington Post. Photographer Karen Kooper)

I came home one evening, and Husband sneakily tricked me into checking my date book for something. When I opened it up to November, I saw the date of the Opera highlighted, and my tickets were taped inside!

He got laid that night.

Something I didn't mention before though, is how happy I am with his honesty. Husband asked me if I wanted him to join me at the opera. I answered his question with another question: Do you actually want to go?

Of course, I would love for my husband to get dressed-up with me and stroll down the red carpet at the Kennedy Center (no really, the carpeting at the Kennedy Center is red!) and escort me to my seat; but I knew that once he sat in his seat he'd be bored to death for the rest of the evening.

Back to our discussion: He said that he would happily go if I wanted him to go. But that's not what I asked. I wanted to know if he would actually gain any pleasure out of hearing Denyce Graves' sultry voice decorating some of the most seductive music in the opera universe.

"Honestly? No, I'd be bored to death. You always complain about how so many people buy up tickets to the opera, who don't actually want to be there. They just go to be seen. You should take someone who will enjoy it as much as you will."

Next week when I am strutting down the Kennedy Center's red carpet, the person on my arm will be one of my very best friends. My college roommate who studied opera with me at Shenandoah, and who is an even bigger opera fanatic than I am.

Thank you, Husband!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Talking in my Sleep

This morning, in an internet message, Husband said this:

"Last night you said you wanted more space in our relationship because your sweater didnt fit."

I guess I was thinking a lot about the sweater I'm knitting. It's starting to look like it will be too big.

I do remember having a very fitful night, and I don't feel terribly rested this morning. I'm pretty cranky today.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Those Little Pleasures

I realized that most of what I write about in here, with regards to my marriage, has to do with our differences and disagreements. I'd like to take a moment to talk about one of my favorite things that Husband and I do together.

Husband works until 10 PM most nights. His days off are Thursdays and Fridays. We've made a tradition to have a date every Thursday night. Sometimes we go out with friends or go to the movies, but most weeks we walk to the Cheesecake Factory which is literally a few hundred yards from our apartment, and have a nice dinner together. This is really the only time every week that we can look at each other's faces and truly check-in. We talk about our jobs, about our triumphs and failures, about silly things that we heard or saw or did, about our friends, anything really.

Every evening when we get home from one of those dates, I look at my husband and say "thanks for taking me out. I had a great time with you."

Picky Eater

My husband is a picky eater. He eats like a child and absolutely refuses to try anything new. Here is a list of some of some of the things he will eat:

Steak, fried chicken, buffalo wings (not too spicy!), barbecue sandwiches, fried shrimp (no other kind of shrimp), barbecue ribs, lasagna, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, grilled-cheese sandwiches, ham and cheese sandwiches, pepperoni and cheese sandwiches, pizza, scrambled eggs (no other kind of eggs), pancakes, chocolate cake.

Now, I'm a vegetarian, so half of that list is out for me.

This is frequently a source of conflict for a few reasons: I refuse to cook meat (I might do it on a very special occasion); I would like him to eat healthier food; I refuse to cook two meals. He can eat what I'm eating, or he can fix something for himself.

So, the compromise is usually spaghetti marinara, or meatless lasagna, or pizza, and me getting fatter and fatter while The Metabolizer stays ultra skinny.

I can occasional get him to eat vegetables. He likes steamed broccoli, salad greens, and corn on the cob. I've also noticed that if I buy bananas they mysteriously disappear.

Fortunately, he works nights so most evenings I can just prepare dinner for myself.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Day After Election Day

My candidate won. Immediately after hearing the news, I was elated.

. . .but my elation quickly became tempered by my some of my fellow citizens' and friends' reactions.

Obviously everyone does not agree about the candidates, otherwise we wouldn't need to hold elections. But what I didn't expect was the bitterness and alienation that appears to be felt by my friends who supported the losing candidate. Did I feel that way after the 2004 election when my hopes of an end to the Bush Administration, and along with it an end to the Iraq War, were dashed?

I don't think I did.

At the time, it seems like I was able to commiserate with other John Kerry supporters in our mutual discontent about the Bush Administration. It felt like there were so many of us, and we weren't quite sure how we lost.

I guess this time there actually are many of us--enough to successfully elect our candidate. Perhaps the supporters of John McCain do not feel as numerous as Kerry supporters did in 2004. It also may be that most of my friends are in the 18-30 demographic that so heartily turned out for Barack; and that the few of us young people who were on the other side of the aisle are feeling like outcasts.

I did not expect this to be such a divisive day. Shouldn't we, the winning party, be able to celebrate without regard to the downcast faces of the losers? After all, after eight years of Republican rule, isn't it our turn?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Go vote.*

*Extra points if you choose Barack for president.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Just when I thought our appartment couldn't get any more cluttered. . .

Husband's parents are retiring and moving, so earlier last week they asked him to come out and pick up some of his things that they had been storing for him.

That evening when I got home, this is what I found when I walked in the door:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you're looking at two guitars (a Gibson and a Fender), a violin, three B-flat clarinets, an A-clarinet, an E-flat sopranino clarinet, two E-flat alto clarinets, a primitive type of clarinet called a basset horn, an oboe, a saxophone, and a flute.

One of these B-flat clarinets is a very valuable professional-quality Buffett clarinet:

You see, Husband and I used to be musicians. In fact, we met in college where we were both music majors. But, since graduating, we've both decided that we're not as passionate about music as we once were, and have both pursued careers outside the musical world.

Husband hasn't touched these instruments in about three years.

I'm trying to convince him to sell them so that we can work on our goal of saving up to buy a house. Wish me luck!