Sunday, September 27, 2009

Holy Crap! I've been married for a year!

That's right. A year ago today I stood up in front of all my friends and family and promised to be a faithful and loving companion to the man who would become my husband. The funny thing is that after that moment, not a lot has changed. I often get asked, "so how's married life?" I have to reveal the secret I've discovered. Married life is just life.

Well, it's life lived in tune with another life. (And since Husband and I are both musicians, I think I'm going to extend this analogy.) Sometimes we are living on two harmonious notes. Sometimes we live on two notes which are discordant, but which lead back to notes which build a more pleasant sound. And of course, sometimes one of us goes flat and creates quite an unpleasant sound. But that's ok, one will signal to the other to tune back up, and we go right along making fabulous harmonies.

Tonight we'll celebrate by getting dressed up and going out to a nice restaurant. And then tomorrow will be another day. We'll go back to work. I'll fix dinner at the end of the day. I'll groan when he only picks at the food. I'll work on my knitting. He'll play video games. And the next day we'll do it all over again. This is our "happily ever after."

Monday, September 21, 2009

What Keeps Me Sane

I've struggled with chronic anxiety since I was in high school, and I get easily overwhelmed. I was having a particularly bad day recently, and I said to Husband, "It's days like this that make me want to drop everything, pack a backpack with just a few essentials, and take off into the wilderness."

"I don't think I fit into a backpack," Husband said. And suddenly, I didn't feel so eager to get away. It's so nice to be reminded what is important, when all the little things are stressing me out.

And in other news, Husband and I went on a rare date this weekend. We jumped in the car and drove up to Baltimore to see the world-class aquarium there, and wander around the inner harbor. We hardly ever do things like this, so it's that much more special when we do.

Here's a funny bird we saw in the rain forest exhibit:

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Mo Money, Mo Problems.

You hear all the time that money is the most common topic of marital arguments. I think that Husband and I have done a great job of managing our finances in a way that allows us to avoid arguing about money most of the time. That's not to say, however, that money isn't a problem for us. And when I say that money is a problem for us, I mean that it's a problem for me, and therefore for Husband as well. That's part off what marriage is, sharing our problems.

You see I'm not great with money. I find that I'm either struggling with money, or I don't think I'm struggling and later I find out that I actually was struggling, but I didn't find out until it's too late. At that point, my frustrated Husband has to bail me out. This has happened more often than I'd like to admit. And I'm not so foolish as to think that that doesn't put a strain on our relationship.

So, Husband and I had a little discussion about how I can better manage my money, and he'll help me out a little bit. What we'll do is a little financial housekeeping that we should have done a long time ago. We'll combine our car insurance into one policy so that it will cost us less and will get paid for out of our joint funds, rather than each of us paying our own. We'll also use joint funds to pay for our cell phones.

Here's the hard part: Husband wants me to build a safety buffer in my personal account like he has in his. This has been a goal of mine forever, but I've never been able to manage it. And I know he'll be hounding me about it.