Losing Control

This morning, I woke up having recovered from a particularly difficult day at work which led to a particularly happy happy hour. Dehydrated as I was from the three vodka-tonics I’d had the evening before, I groggily wandered into the kitchen to get some water. When I looked around I realized that I’d lost control.

There were dirty dishes on the counter tops, a pile of clean clothes on the couch waiting to be folded; miscellaneous papers, boxes, receipts, and a couple winter coats lying on the dining room table; and an air of general dust and untidiness hung about the room.

After all the hard work I’d been doing to keep my apartment clean, Husband finally pitching in, at some point in the last week I must have gotten overwhelmed and let go. I couldn't’t tell you exactly when I stopped bothering. I think it must have happened gradually. I probably gave up somewhere between being extraordinarily busy at work, and realizing I’d gained twenty pounds and declaring I would go on a diet.

So here I am, back where I started at the end of 2008: fat, in frumpy jeans, a tee shirt, and fleece pullover, hair a mess and pulled back into a ponytail, and sitting in a messy apartment.
But, as I repeated so many times in Mr. Thomson’s high school drama class, “Yes, yes, I am hemmed in on every side, but don’t imagine all my battles lost.” I’m determined to get back in control. This weekend I will get my apartment shining again, and in the meanwhile, I’m going to continue following the diet I started last weekend, and one day I will live within 30 minutes of my office and all these things will be 100% easier.

More FLYlady

People who know me know that I never do anything halfway. After reading the first book of the Harry Potter series when I was 16, I completely immersed myself in the fandom. When I took up knitting I couldn't stop, and quickly began to surpass some of the girls that helped teach me. So, just a couple days after my mother suggested I visit the FLYlady's website , I took off and am FLYing fast!

The program builds on itself, so on day two my instructions are to maintain my clean and shiny sink, and to "get dressed to the shoes."

I figured that putting on your shoes every morning is a great step for full-time homemakers and stay-at-home moms, but I put my shoes on every day. I chose instead to get dressed to the make-up, which fits in nicely with another of my resolutions to dress so that I could be photographed.

I wrenched myself out of bed reluctantly at around 5:30 this morning (I usually hit the snooze until 6:00 or later!) and jumped in the shower. Amazingly, once I was out of the shower, I didn't feel sleepy or groggy.

After I got dressed, make-up and everything, I headed into the kitchen and followed FLYlady's instructions to put away clean dishes from the dishwasher right away. When that was done and I sat down to eat breakfast, I couldn't believe that I had an entire half-hour to relax before I needed to head out the door.

By the time I was in my chair at work, I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I'm in a great mood today after a month or two of a slump. I still am feeling quite cheerful as I'm writing this.

I am super-optimistic about 2009. Woohoo!

It's That Time of Year Again!

That's right, it's time to think long and hard about all the things we hate about ourselves and declare that this year is going to be different! This year I'm really going to loseweightquitsmokingsavemoremoneyworkouteveryday.

So, without further ado, here's my list:

Resolved: I will finally have a home that I'm not ashamed to invite friends into. I am going to learn to maintain a neat and tidy home with the help of the FLYlady. I'm going to do everything in my power (read: lots of nagging) to get Husband to help.

Resolved: I will cushion my savings account with $50 a month, whether I really really want those new shoes or not. Next time my car wigs out on me unexpectedly, I'll be prepared.

Resolved: I will dress well enough to be prepared to be photographed at least four days a week. This means jeans that fit me, nice shoes, a nice top, hair done, and (the horror!) make-up. I want to be an attractive, well-dressed woman that Husband will be proud to show off. Not for his sake, but for mine. I'm tired of just rolling out of bed every morning and running out the door.

I'd also like to start practicing yoga regularly again, eat a natural and primarily locally-produced and seasonal diet; but as the three resolutions I've already listed will mean getting up at least half an hour earlier every day, I'm not holding my breath.

May we all be happy and healthy and surrounded by friends in 2009!